You avoid sabotaging discussions if you really want to learn something.
Those who are so inclined can afford to be challenged at the heart of the matter.
Discussion, debate and confrontation. A truly open mind is required
Discussion, debate and open confrontation. Throughout our lives we have seen people “defend their garden” verbally…
We all hold beliefs close to our hearts.
A handful of certainties set in stone.
A whole system of thought interwoven with everyday life and designed in such a way that if a single brick were to slip, the whole edifice could collapse.
Intelligent people are able to sit down and rationally determine whether a particular idea is supported by evidence.
But rationality is not the only component of our psyche.
In fact, rational arguments are often distorted by human nature.
Throughout our lives we have seen people verbally “defend their garden”.
In this way we have learned certain techniques without even realising it.
For example, resistance to information processing.
These actions become habitual over time until they become conditioned reflexes.
Their protective power increases.
And eventually we become barely aware of the actions we are reflexively performing.
A reaction called “cognitive dissonance.”
You are offering someone information that they do not want to know because it is too upsetting.
Continuing to press the issue could be perceived as a mental attack.
When you are at your worst in a debate, one strategy is to focus exclusively on a particular word that the other person has used.
This can distract the other person and thus manoeuvre the conversation away from the conclusion you were about to accept.
There are many other ways to derail a discussion.
For example, introduce new ideas that are only loosely related to the central issue.
In this way you can force the other person to deal with peripheral issues.
Usually we are not aware that we are diverting a discussion.
One simply feels uncomfortable with the current line of research and shies away from ideas one does not like.
Or a topic is cunningly changed to return to a more comfortable zone.
This is a nasty habit that can be used to avoid entering dangerous, if enlightening, territory.
One avoids sabotaging discussions if one is genuinely interested in learning.
Those with such an inclination can afford to have the heart of the matter challenged.
But this requires a truly open mind.
