Educated to make my mark with my etiquette.
Schooled to amaze with my culture.
Smart, to win the admiration of those around me.
I also wanted to be perfect because I wanted to leave everyone speechless.
I just wanted to please someone : my parents, my relatives, my friends, my partner.
That way, by looking into the eyes of those who admired me, I could learn to love myself a little.
However, you cannot escape your flaws.
Unfortunately, I continued to have them, and far too many of them: an almost untameable temper, an uncontrollable recklessness, too much laughter, too loud a voice, a rather large butt, an overly sensitive soul, an incurable and sometimes unmotivated idealism.
Until one day something very important happened to me : I stopped considering others, stopped listening to their judgments, stopped caring what they thought of me.
Suddenly, I no longer felt the need to be liked at all costs.
In short, I stopped conforming to the expectations of those around me.
Thus, what is commonly referred to as the “desire for social acceptance” immediately disappeared.
I became the judge of myself.
I became the only one capable of judging myself to the fullest.
Of course, it was not easy.
Although my obsession with pleasing others was gone forever.
In its place, I found even fiercer, harsher, and really more demanding criticism.
I was far less tolerant and compromising than anyone else.
Still, at least the standards, the credentials, the aspirations were mine and mine alone.
As were the dreams, hopes, challenges, and desires.
It was then that I began to dare more.
More and more.
Sure, I stumbled and fell many times.
But from every fall I learned a lot, really a lot.
I learned from every open wound, from every tear I shed, from every flaw I dared to show.
Flaws. You have seen too many colors, felt too many sensations, experienced too many things…
Because if I wanted to be truly free, I first had to free myself from the judgment of others.
And I had to do it on my own, without anyone’s help.
It was at this point that I learned that the first people to praise and flatter you when you are at your best are the ones who point the finger at you for everything that does not live up to their expectations.
Yes, those very people.
The ones who whisper and gossip behind your back without even having the courage to look you in the eye.
And in the end you realize that it is really just envy.
They envy you for being yourself.
Because you had the courage to do what they wouldn’t even think of doing.
But mostly because you have seen too many colors, felt too many sensations, experienced too many things that they were never allowed to experience.
And on that day, you bitterly regret all the sacrifices you once made just to make them happy, deluding yourself that your closeness might flatter them.
But by the time you realize this, it is really too late.
The lost time never comes back.
And what we have so generously given to those who did not deserve it will never come back.
So don’t be fooled like I was.
From the very beginning, don’t worry about what they say about you.
Always be sincere, break through the wall of hypocrisy, and above all, don’t worry about people’s judgments.
Even though everyone will immediately go out of their way to stand in your way and prevent you from being who you want to be.
Your freedom, believe me, frightens many.
Don’t listen to them.
Go ahead like a train and sweep them away.
