Internet and modern socialization. Inability to discuss constructively
A summary of articles and experiences I have had on the web over the past 25 years (in short, since the birth of the Internet or nearly so).
Again, any references to actual people or events are purely coincidental.
The most important social phenomenon of the third millennium are forums and especially social networks.
More and more people have reduced their real social contacts in order to increase their virtual ones.
This has resulted in a significant change in socialization habits and interpersonal relationships.
People have fewer face-to-face meetings and more virtual contacts.
It would be pointless and enormously wasteful to ask whether this is a positive or negative phenomenon.
It would be a subjective judgment and therefore highly controversial.
What I want to focus on instead is a more specific aspect.
I am referring to the kind of communication we have become accustomed to in forums and social networks in recent years.
Less and less face-to-face, more and more virtual contacts…
In the vast majority of cases, the discussions turned out to be a total waste of time.
Boorish insults, meaningless ramblings on pointless topics, an inability to get to the point.
In fact, it should never be forgotten that the Internet is like a city.
There are museums, libraries, hospitals, useful and valuable places.
But also places that are notorious and infested with thugs.
There are certainly excellent forums on the Internet where you can have peaceful and constructive discussions.
But they are in the minority.
The big problem is that there is a total lack of communication on the internet that allows people to understand what is being said from the tone of voice, from hand and arm gestures, from facial winks.
Many people use emoticons to express their state of mind and let their interlocutor know that they are joking.
However, the risk of misunderstanding what is written is high.
This is because people usually only read part of what others write.
Furthermore, in forums, and even more so in social networks, reaction times to other people’s messages are almost instantaneous.
You take a quick look and respond immediately.
It is therefore very easy to make hasty, unthoughtful and sometimes too impulsive replies without proper reflection.
Some forums have tried to curb this problem by using moderators to read and filter posts before they are posted.
Although this sometimes reduces participation and slows down discussions to the detriment of the sincerity and immediacy of the exchange of ideas, it is a solution.
However, it has not prevented the proliferation of forum junk and the display of insults and dive bar language typical of social networks.
Tendency to insult and argue
Why do people insult each other so much on the Internet, especially on social networks ?
The tendency is really rampant everywhere.
Again, the explanation is not just that many people insult because they think they can do so anonymously.
This is certainly one reason, but not the only one.
But it is not enough to explain the spread of boorish conversations with trash language.
In fact, there is a tendency today to brand as “trolls” all those who dare to express, even politely, opinions that are unwelcome to most people.
In a democracy, however, one must accept being confronted with ideas contrary to one’s own, and have the maturity to respond civilly.
Then there are the hecklers (very often professionals) and the many frustrated people who like to jump in just to provoke or insult for no reason.
Their sole purpose is to see discussions escalate and turn into fights.
The inability to discuss constructively
Not only social networks, but also most Internet forums have become a kind of “pasture of nobodies”.
Virtual places where people hang out just to pass the time.
It often happens that you read useless posts where “John” repeats the same things to “Gala” who then turns to “Lucy85” to talk about useless things that have nothing to do with the topic of discussion.
Sometimes you come across forums that over the years have become a kind of “exclusive club for the usual knowns”, always frequented by the same 10-15 people, who then end up talking to each other almost in jargon, alienating newcomers.
Even though they say they are open to everyone.
Many people left because they realized that these forums were often just a waste of time.
All they got out of these discussions were stupid, bitter insults.
Or their day was ruined by various angry outbursts.
In short, over the years, it has become increasingly rare to find useful forums and blogs with high-level, constructive discussions.
This is a true obsessive compulsive disorder that can easily lead to :
Meeting potentially very dangerous strangers Cyber addiction
Loss of real life contacts
Creating a parallel virtual identity
Gambling addiction
Delusions of omnipotence
Compulsive online shopping
Those most at risk are those with communication and relationship problems.
On the other hand, the Net is undoubtedly a great help for those with existential problems.
Unfortunately, society is making us more and more indifferent to each other.
The Internet has an incredible value in terms of communication.
But it cannot be a panacea.
Otherwise, the cure may turn out to be worse than the disease.
Virtual Reality
To create deep relationships, turn off your computer…
The value of virtual friends is not and can never be compared to the value of real friends.
To build deep relationships, you need to turn off your computer or smartphone.
The Web is a wonderful world, but it is not the best medium for building real friendships.
In fact, it does not allow for physical communication, a fundamental aspect of intimacy between people.
When we communicate with someone, it is not just with words.
But with our whole body and person.
Our facial expressions, our tone of voice, our gaze, our hands.
Body language is the only tool we have to judge people’s trustworthiness.
Without it, relationships are bound to remain superficial.
Moderators
Everyone thinks for themselves and no one seems to be interested in solidarity.
This is true in all areas: volunteer forums, writing forums, computer forums, and many others.
In the end, there are always those in the “leadership group” who dictate the law, and there are the pariahs, the excluded, who take it.
But what is the point of being bullied even in silly forums ?
P. (from a received email)
Moderators are certainly not chosen as the right people to “moderate” discussions.
On the contrary, they often fuel them with their arrogance.
They have been “invested” with this role simply because they have a lot of free time to spend in front of a computer or smartphone.
Certainly not because of their balance or their ability to get people to agree.
After all, as you say, in a forum you always find the same people and they form a very closed group that does not accept outsiders, especially if they do not think like them.
Especially not if the newcomers have the courage to express opinions different from theirs, even if they don’t offend anyone.
They don’t care about new topics to delve into, they just sit in front of their PCs and engage in often meaningless discussions.
The owners don’t care if their forum is offensive, they only care if people click on it, because that’s how they make money.
So the more nonsense and the more games there are, the more money they make.
Not to mention that it is very easy to insult those who cannot respond in person, so bullying and backbiting are commonplace.
Obviously, it is not worth wasting time.
It seems that the Internet brings out the worst in some people.
It makes time go by and it feels like you have the world at your fingertips.
And you think you can always turn it off when you get tired of it.
That’s why you stay on it.
Provocateurs and Counter-Provocateurs
A domino effect…
You are a follower of character X (or even a soccer team, political party, or school of thought).
You post a message on a forum.
Immediately someone tries to ridicule you with sneaky arguments.
Naturally, a heated discussion ensues, in which those who are “naturally” against you find the courage to speak out.
It is a bit like a domino effect.
Of course, those who are for character X will defend you.
But at some point, someone does so in an unhinged way, using periods, capital letters, and exclamation points.
This is a “colleague” of the provocateur.
His purpose is simply to make X’s supporters look like idiots.
The first provocateur brings out those who are against character X in a “real” way.
Similarly, the second provocateur provokes the extremists who support X.
In the end, the first supporter of X will appear as a person with little credibility in everyone’s eyes.
It only takes one provocateur and one counter-provocateur pretending to argue to ruin a discussion or post about a character X.
And in the long run, so will his or her reputation (at least on the Internet).
Virtual courage
In theory, everyone on the Internet has the power to freely share their experiences, thoughts, and opinions.
However, it is always possible to encounter people who want to cause trouble.
These are ordinary people who, with little rhetoric, try to “silence” those who think differently.
And when their ranting is not enough, they start insulting.
A typical practice of those who are ignorant and unable to respond.
But do they have nothing to do all day ?
And why do they enjoy insulting a person ?
My first answer to the question, that they are poor losers, was unfortunately incomplete.
Unfortunately, there are people who are paid to do this, often well-known personalities.
In most cases, the people who do this “dirty” work are anonymous in every way.
People who could not even be seen on the street because of their insecurity and cowardice.
But simple anonymity offers a virtual courage worthy of the sleaziest taverns.
